I am on the Highway Of Love
I'm stuck again. Not sick, not tired, just going
backwards in my mind.
A psychic practitioner stopped me at the end of a party yesterday, and told me I
was about to have a detour. Today. I don't quite remember the exact words she
used, but it was something along the lines of "Right now you're going down
the 405, and you're about to take a detour, and then you'll have to decide what
you want to do with your life."
And then she disappeared.
Okay. So one part of me sees only possibilities in that scenario - Wow, choices,
new things, new roads, new.... And then another part - Gremlin Voice soaked for
sure - screams Other shoe dropping! Any minute now! Watch out for falling shoes!
And I look around me, furtively, searching each car that passes by, each person
who passes by, each word that passes by, for a clue. For a sign. For impending
disaster.
I have three choices. One, I can call up this practitioner and ask for
clarification. But, I realize, nothing she says will change the fact that I must
make one of the other two choices.
Two, I can wallow in fear and try to be very careful and watchful and vigilant,
analyze everything that shows up in my life at every minute, and forget I'm
actually alive and living.
Three, I can choose the choice of possibilities. I can - regardless of what the
psychic has seen or knows, regardless of what she says or what she thinks, or
even more profoundly, regardless of what I think - see every car that passes by,
every person who passes by, each word that passes by as a "detour"
into a new possibility.
And, if I make choice Number Three, I'd better know what I'm getting myself into
- this new possibility might lead to another detour, to another possibility, to
another, and another, where the choices are endless.
Am I more afraid of being stuck or of getting lost?
Is it that I'm really so certain I can't choose right every time, or, does it
really matter if I choose right every time?
Lots of questions, and sometimes the answer is "I don't know," or
"None of the Above." So how do I know what to do and where to go and
what to think? And how do I stop my mind from racing to fear instead of flowing
to possibilities?
Well, first off, just because I investigate another road doesn't mean I've left
the Highway of Love. In fact, what if I'm not even on it at all!
What if, even though I think I've been on the Highway of Love all this time, I'm
really only on a side road? What if I'm not even on a road? What if I've been
going in circles?
So, what if I want to continue down this so-called detour of a new possibility?
What then? What if the detour leads to a bigger Highway? What if I've been on
the Highway of Where I've Always Been and What I've Always Done, and the detour
will lead me smack to the Highway of Love?
Well, how's this for a job description: Adventurer!
Lots of men and women are making thrilling, actual lives out there being Indiana
Jones - finding lost civilizations, solving ancient riddles, leading teams
through the jungles of the world.
Everyone has a different tolerance for risk and a different idea of what's in
the pot of gold at the end of the Quest, and some of us quake at even the
thought of stepping a foot into the unknown.
So many of us are traveling up and down a dead end wash we call "love"
in the middle of something we only know of as "familiarity."
Sometimes we ride it in souped-up all-terrain vehicles, and sometimes we crawl
along it, but we hardly ever fly over it, and actually see, with our own eyes,
that it's been a dead-end all along.
So, what if the Highway of Love is truly a super-highway leading to...who knows
where?
And, what if it's really not all that hard to navigate? What if the only problem
with it is it's just not a dead-end wash? What if the only hard thing about it
is it's not "familiar"?
So I bless the
psychic. Not for giving me a clue to what's next, but for giving
me a clue to my fear. Perhaps the 405 isn't all there is.
Now I have to deal with myself. If I'm so afraid of detours, how will I handle
the Highway of Love when I'm on it? Will I run back to my dead-end? Will I swear
off detours? Will I swear off possibilities? Will I choose "Familiar"
over "Better"?
Will I choose "Safely Stuck" over "Scary What I Really
Want"?
Will I stay in worry and doubt and fear and not leave my house, or will I move
out and about with abandon? Will I keep my eyes open for danger, or will I allow
in possibilities?
The choice is mine. The choice is yours.
Try this way of choosing:
When you find yourself stuck, or afraid, ask yourself what road you're on.
You may answer - I'm in love! I couldn't be happier! Or I'm safe and fine, I
don't need a relationship, I don't need someone else to love me, I love myself
just plenty. Or I don't have time for all this. I'm busy, I'm tooling down my
road just fine, and, Rori, what do you know about it anyway?
Okay, so you know what's up. You've made your choice, and it feels good, and
here you are, and you're right - you don't need me.
And if you answer I'm tired of the same-old-same-old. I'm tired of the souped-up
cars and the dry runs and the circles, then, maybe, you have nothing to lose,
and everything to gain by choosing "Better" and "Scary What I
Really Want" rather than "Safe" and "Familiar."
So, put on your new hat. The one marked "Adventurer!"
Imagine that your emotions, your instincts, your heart rhythms, are a beautiful,
powerful Horse you can ride across the landscape of your life. Your Horse knows
the way, clean and clear, to where you want to go. And if you should ever steer
it wrong, it knows the way back.
Now, sit your Horse tall and proud. You are about to let the whole world see you
shake from fear, thrill from excitement, breathe hard from anticipation, tense
up from the knot in your throat and shimmer from the hope in your eyes.
You are about to let go. The Horse of your emotions, your instincts, your
connection to life, your heart, is feeling feisty. You're about to let your
Horse run free.
Imagine doing it. Imagine tolerating the fear, the excitement, the heavy
breathing, the tension, the shimmer. Imagine riding the Horse somewhere new and
feeling everything you're feeling.
Believe that anytime you want, you can stop. Yes, you can stop. You can say No,
turn back, go forward, take a rest. You can. You can say No when it doesn't feel
right, and you can say Yes when it feels right.
Sometimes it can feel right, but it's just a little (okay, a lot) scary. Don't
let that stop you! Fear feels way different when you're out there riding the
Horse than it does when you're stuck stock still. Fear is many things, and it
wears many faces, and we build all kinds of defenses on top of it to pretend it
isn't there or hide it away, or fight it.
If you don't believe Adventurers feel fear, you've been sitting in the safe
dead-end too long. Fear is part of the Highway of Love. Bring yours along with
you for the ride. Soon, it'll get tired and old, and you'll be too busy having
fun to even notice if it's there or not.
So, wear your Adventurer hat (yes, you have one!), take along all your baggage,
and imagine the exhilaration of having what you want.
Then, kiss your Horse, and let it take you somewhere new - to the Highway of
Love.
Love, Rori and thank you for allowing me to share my experience with you Terry.
No love in your life? Sick of being
single? Come check out the exciting world of free
online personals. We've got people from all around the world looking for love!
Whether you're searching for California
singles or thinking about joining a New York online dating service, we can connect
you with that person who is just waiting to be found!